I'm not working for the first time in a long time. Instead, I am home with the kids who are ages 1 and 4. Both are in school (or daycare) until noon each day, and after that they're home with me. This has all given me LOTS to think about. I'm thinking about my career trajectory and lately, a home life that seems to be working. I've dedicated a section of this site to thoughts about my career - jump over and have a look.
Work trip to NYC 2009 - prepping for a meeting
These are a couple of very interesting (and so carefully created) homes and photographs.
I may be trying to copy....just maybe.
Today, after our house was (professionally) cleaned I quickly snapped a few shots to get that perfect image (below). Oh shoot - this picture has a giant sized cereal box of Corn Flakes in the way! All of this makes me think of the online image I am guilty of trying to create. I love seeing beauty in homes and creativity in cooking and do strive for that myself - I won't deny it. But let's be honest, most of the time, at least for me - it is a futile process. Most of the time, the house is a mess and the kids are yelling for me so I can play/read/entertain/intervene.
Of course - that is my own "perfection" and I should just document those photos instead.
Not so perfect.
Perfect.
This means seventy-six in German.
My language classes are coming along, but I still have that problem when I try to speak in real life situations, it's Hungarian that comes out. And it's been 16 years since I last spoke Hungarian!
HOME
Born in Knoxville, Tennesse
Age 1 - Tampa, Florida
Age 7 - Stoughton, Wisconsin
Age 18 - Madison, Wisconsin
Age 22 - Budapest, Hungary
Age 27 - New York, New York
Age 30 - Palo Alto, California
Age 34 - Seattle, Washington
Age 43 - Riehen, Switzerland
For a mildly (or not so mildly) anxious person there is a lot to be anxious about when you have two small dependents running around you for most of your waking hours. What am I forgetting? Is one about to lose it? (Yes usually). Do I have enough snacks? (Yes, usually). So during that rare occasion when I am truly chilled out it is such a good feeling. Lately I find that I am grabbing a few more of those moments - either because they are getting older, or I am getting wiser. Not sure what, but I'll take it!
Both looking rather anxious as they board their first gondola.
A few notes about living abroad in Switzerland:
People tend to be even more fit and healthy than people in Seattle - and that says a lot. Some kids start biking without training wheels by age 3, and it's not uncommon to see older people in their 70s biking too. It helps that Basel is extremely bike-friendly and has paths in/around the entire city.
The public transportation is amazing. There are buses, trams, and well-defined bike and pedestrian paths. The center of Basel has made it difficult to find parking so you just don't find that many cars. Cars are the odd ones out.
In general, Americans are friendly and smile a lot. Swiss people are not super friendly, and generally do not smile at strangers.
Dogs are beloved friends to many Swiss.
Basel is much more diverse than I remember.
Of course there is High German and Swiss German, but Swiss German has many dialects. I'm surprised to start hearing some of those subtle (and not-so-subtle) differences.
I am surprised about how often I dream about my friends back in Seattle.
I don't miss instant everything (Amazon) and find myself relieved to step backwards in time a bit.
This country is even more beautiful than I remember.
When I was 24 I lived in Hungary. It was my second year living abroad, and I was living outside Budapest, in a small town called Budaors. I was an English teacher in an elementary and middle school. Teaching was hard, and I was lonely in this small town. On the weekends I would often go to Budapest and stay with my friend Wendy, who now lives in San Miguel, Mexico. I distinctly remember that she would draw me baths and cook for me and try to pep me up for the upcoming week.
And she was honest. I was very unsure of myself and wasn't at all clear as to what I "was doing" with my life - and obviously wasn't even clear about me. One night after a glass of wine or two, I asked her to tell me something true about me. She said I was nice.
I was like, NICE?? I was so surprised with her answer. But then she listed off a few other NICE people, and they seemed alright, so then I was okay with being known as NICE too. Now I think that it's a compliment, and I only hope that I am still nice and continue to be nice. And I hope my young girls grow up nice too. (Among other things like brave, strong, happy and healthy).
We're all nice!
Last Sunday felt like the first fall day, and we ended up going on a walk. During our walk, a cat jumped in Camille's stroller and didn't want to get out. It was a wild and crazy afternoon!
I have been thinking about Sam a lot, since being here in Switzerland. We used to be great childhood friends but no longer are talking because of adult things (bad, ugly family stuff). I last saw him in NYC in September 2007 when I was going through my divorce and he was working in a corporate law firm. He told me after our dinner together, that we could never be friends again. That was 8 years ago.
I met him when I was seven and we rode bikes around as kids, played hang-man after dinner and watched re-runs of Three's a Company. When we were in our 20s we lived together for a summer and traveled together in Africa together for 5 weeks.
After his senior year in high school he lived in Switzerland for a year. I remember that when he came back he seemed so different. So happy and motivated and smart. He lived with a Swiss family who were very active skiers and hikers. I imagine he is still very much in touch with them and I just wonder - now that I am here in Switzerland, in the Swiss German region - who is this Swiss family? Will I ever run into Sam here?
Claire and I spend every afternoon together and we do a lot of coloring.
I was digging around old emails and things and found an email I wrote to Sarah back in 2004 - 12 YEARS AGO:
At that time, I was working on a short documentary about the growing number of inmates in prisons, and was half-seriously thinking about working on a landmine reduction program in Afghanistan. I was married to someone else and studying film at Stanford. I was 31.
What were you doing 12 years ago?
I may have re-created an old-time habit. Listening to Modest Mouse and running a couple of times a week. Welcome back old friend.
Somehow, thankfully I stumbled upon the ceramic animals of Aaron Murray. When my nephew Felix was two, there was a period when I would spend a couple of hours with him on Wednesdays. One Wednesday, before our visit, I went to a nearby gift store to see if I could find something sweet for our afternoon. What I found was the beginning of a love-affair of these small, handmade, ceramic animals. Felix and I would gather our animal collection and tell a story. Over time, I brought home 10-15 of these little animals - owls, ducks, cows. Some I would give to Felix, and some I kept for myself. My favorite is a small, white and black striped duck.
Lila and I have known each other since we were in our late 20s. Now we're in our early 40s.
Me: What is something you like about aging?
Lila: Not much. I don't like any of the physical elements about aging. I do feel like I have more experiences, friendships, perspectives. So I do like the intellectual part about aging.
Our nightly ritual is on. We take a bath, put on pajamas, read books while eating cut apple slices, do a few tickles and say good night.
But our morning ritual is rough. Camille wakes up cheerful and is ready for breakfast but then goes bananas when it's time to do much of anything else. And Claire is a total mess at first and then settles in. We've just installed our first "chart" where she gets a star for each morning that doesn't include kicking and screaming. So far so good :)
July was marked by the internet. We didn't have it and after the girls would go to bed, Georg and I would sit outside and have a beer and talk. We didn't have our phones out, or our computers. The minute the internet was hooked up, our phones and laptops moved in and interrupted our conversations.
August was totally transformed because I found a bike and trailer. I have discovered so many bike trails around Riehen and have now optimized the kid-commute to and from school. It's summer, and being on a bike every single day makes me very happy.
A few years ago, new neighbors moved in: a super sweet family with three small boys and funny enough the dad is also Swiss, and speaks Swiss German with his kids! This summer their family was also in Switzerland, and we were able to meet in Aarau!
A few nights ago Georg's mom stayed at our place for a few hours after we put the kids down. Georg and I went into Basel and met some friends for a drink. On the way, we walked over the bridge, holding hands looking at the view of the Rhine. Georg pointed out this new path to me. We are together all the time, but connecting isn't guaranteed since the kids demand so much of our constant attention.
